I don't even know why I torture myself like I do. Maybe getting this digital scale is going to ruin me. I don't even want to fucking talk about it right now. I know I shouldn't weigh myself all the time but god damnit, it's like I'm addicted to knowing EXACTLY how much I weigh periodically. I know I had a really high sodium intake due to eating Mexican with a co-worker but a;lkjdsfaja;!!
I'm tired of this whole cycle. I'm tired of trying to fucking do right and my mind telling me to do wrong. FUCK binges. Quitting binging is fucking harder than it is to quit smoking, hell it was easier to quit doing DRUGS (meth, opiates, ecstasy, etc...) than it is to quit fucking binging/purging. I hate this shit.
I am so fucking angry with myself. I am exactly 148.4... 1lb more than I was yesterday --- but I know it's due to the salt so I need to quit fucking tripping and get a god damn grip!
My boyfriend and his friend are coming into town today. I cleaned my apartment.... I wish his friend was not coming because I want to have sex everywhere and not worry about wearing clothes. I like walking around naked with my man. Grr! Oh well, his friend is good company none-the-less.