Thursday, June 30, 2011


I don't even know why I torture myself like I do. Maybe getting this digital scale is going to ruin me. I don't even want to fucking talk about it right now. I know I shouldn't weigh myself all the time but god damnit, it's like I'm addicted to knowing EXACTLY how much I weigh periodically. I know I had a really high sodium intake due to eating Mexican with a co-worker but a;lkjdsfaja;!! 

I'm tired of this whole cycle. I'm tired of trying to fucking do right and my mind telling me to do wrong. FUCK binges. Quitting binging is fucking harder than it is to quit smoking, hell it was easier to quit doing DRUGS (meth, opiates, ecstasy, etc...) than it is to quit fucking binging/purging. I hate this shit. 

I am so fucking angry with myself. I am exactly 148.4... 1lb more than I was yesterday --- but I know it's due to the salt so I need to quit fucking tripping and get a god damn grip!


My boyfriend and his friend are coming into town today. I cleaned my apartment.... I wish his friend was not coming because I want to have sex everywhere and not worry about wearing clothes. I like walking around naked with my man. Grr! Oh well, his friend is good company none-the-less.


  1. Drink lots and lots of water and it will flush out the excess salt. Try to not have too much salt today. Your body retains water-weight when you are dehydrated and when you have too much sodium. Drinking water will hydrate you and get rid of the excess sodium so if you drink enough, the weight should be gone tomorrow morning. The only problem will be peeing a lot... Although if you drink enough it should keep you full and you won't binge. Unsweetened tea, 0 cal tea would also work instead of water. Just don't put sugar or milk or anything in it.

  2. If you drink a shit ton of water, then it will reduce your sodium.
    Trust me, I know. :)
    Try not to get too hung up on the scale; I know it is addicting, but you are only going to set yourself up for failure if you weigh yourself constantly.
    Lol, I hope you have a good time with your boy and his friend. :)
    Stay positive, stay beautiful! <3

  3. I'm sorry you're so frustrated, Rach. :( But hey, at least you know exactly where the weight came from so it'll be easy to get rid of it! Like Kes, said, drink a ton of water and you'll be good to go in a couple of days. :)

    Food is the worst because we have to face it EVERY SINGLE DAY, THREE TIMES A DAY! It's unfair! At least with cigs and drugs you have to go out looking for them... but food... it's always everywhere. Always. Fucking sucks, yo.

    What is with his friends following him all over the place? Don't they have girlfriends or something? Or do they have to live precariously through your's and C's relationships? I mean, WTF?!

  4. Im sorry. Yea the digital scales are hell! I gaine weight I I didn't even do anything! I am pissed! Just keep your head up and when you want to beinge just eat a small sweet low cal snack instead. You'll get there.

  5. I totally agree with you, giving up binging and purging is the toughest addition to overcome. With food we still have to eat!

    I'm struggling to give up binging myself at the moment, the constant tempation and urges are unbearable sometimes.

    Sending my love, stay strong and remember your goals!

  6. I'm sorry you're feeling so bad. I'm trying to stop all the binging and bad habits by trying to actually eat and be healthier. We'll see how it goes...

    Good luck to you though <3

  7. Scales are aggravating...
    Drink lots'a waterrrrr; it's all good.

    < 3

  8. Nooooo break the scale cycle now! It's been the death of me this whole time I've been stuck at this plateau weight (that I'm determined to bring down by the time I go back to school). I literally wish I could carry my scale around with me everywhere at this point.

    Lol I hope you get the sex you're looking for ;) and enjoy your company!

  9. Ugh, scales. Sometimes i weigh myself after each meal and it's a nightmare. But when i don't step on the scale at least once a day, i begin to freak out.
    I also binged yesterday and now i'm craving food but i've eaten only a non-fat yogurt so far and plan to stick to those yogurts for the rest of the day.
    Giving up bingeing/purgeing is so difficult. But we can do it :)
    Stay strong!
    And have a great day! ♥