Saturday, June 11, 2011


Yesterday was a complete fail but it ended up getting better. I had plans to surprise my boyfriend for Fondue and when he got here he said "I'M HUNGRY NOW, LETS EAT" so I said, "Can we wait until 7? I have a surprise for you?" Long story short, I ended up crying because he was being an asshole, he felt bad then we ate at 54th St. I've found a really good way to avoid over eating without having the bf get suspicious... I literally just drink water non-stop to fill up. I only ate 1/4th of the dinner and since he could SEE me eating it wasn't surprising. Plus, I was so upset about the fondue incident that he probably didn't think much of it that I wasn't eating.

Regardless, the pressure got to me and I ended up purging 1/2 of what I ate in the bathroom at the restaurant to justify me eating ice cream later on the evening. Ugh, I hate myself sometimes.

We came back and played some video games and then I decided that I wanted to fuck and so we started kissing and one thing led to another and we were having sex for like an hour! What a good work out, I was so proud. After that, I got completely wasted drunk to forget that fucking horrible day.


Today I went out and mowed the lawn and my dad and bf were hungry so I went out and got stuff for sandwiches. I made big sandwiches, got fat free chips and carrot sticks. They were so happy. Mine was about half the size of theirs and yet here I am, sitting in my bathroom thinking about doing what I don't want to do. I keep thinking, maybe if I don't eat anything else today I won't have to bother...

But... my stomach hurts so bad, it's screaming get this the fuck out of me and I feel this terrible compulsion to comply. 


  1. NO FONDUE?! Shitty. :( Which 54th did you go to? My brother's girlfriend works at one of them and I'm pretty sure she worked last night.

    Yay for workout sex! Hardcore sex is such a good calorie burner, and it's fun. And it's like triple the endorphins because not only are you working out, but you're... having sex. lmao

    You don't have to purge everything :( And it's not like you're eating unhealthily. Have you ever tried cutting your food into/eating tiny tiny tiny pieces? It fills you up much faster and you don't have that heavy feeling afterwards that makes you want to purge.

    I love you!!!

  2. Your blog is so honest and real.
    I love it.
    You seem like a very strong, down-to-earth, determined individual.
    I am definitely following! :)
    I look forward to reading more from you.
    Hang in there and stay strong love. <3

  3. I'm so sorry you had a bad day yesterday.

    Please don't purge! You didn't eat anything unhealthy. Better not eat anything else for the rest of the day and do some work out.

    Take care and stay strong ♥