Sunday, June 12, 2011

[giving in]

I'm finding more excused to avoid eating so much. Honestly, a trick that's been working for me is eating things I don't really like so it forces me to not eat as much. I've been working hard to get over the "completion compulsion." A lot of people with issues similar to mine will find themselves FINISHING a plate just because it's in front of them... eating foods I don't enjoy helps me get over this obsession.

I ended up getting rid of the sandwich while the men were outside working on the patio. I didn't eat anything else until dinner. It was something really spicy so I was able to avoid eating a lot. Instead I ate a fat free yogurt and a small portion of rice. I felt a lot better and didn't have the urge to purge (nice rhyme) because there wasn't much there. I ended up getting ridiculously drunk instead.

My bf and I had sex in the shower for like an hour so that was fantastic. He kept trying to put it in my ass and it annoyed me because we were both so drunk and I didn't feel like it. He ended up convincing me it was a good idea AFTER I came... he's smart like that. He knows that when I cum I will pretty much agree to anything for about 2 minutes. Bastard LOL All in all, it was a good work out in there. He bit my neck so hard it left a bruise... I think I'm dating a vampire ;)

I ended up getting a bit burnt yesterday but I woke up to a tan. This morning I caved in at breakfast because my mom made bacon, sausage, eggs and toast... my fucking bread tooth get's be EVERY time! I ate 3 pieces of fucking bread, 1 egg, 4 pieces of sausage and like 4 strips of bacon. WTF! To my surprise I didn't feel like purging afterwards, but I am leaving it in my stomach as a reminder of my fucking failure and this is the consequence of not having the will power to stand down next to shit that's bad for me...

I am going to do my damndest to start Monday fresh. I never get to work out when my bf is here so I will go back to running and working out every night and cutting my calories significantly until I see him for our St. Louis trip next weekend.


  1. I love how raw you are with your sexual conquests. It's extremely entertaining. :)

    Tomorrow we will have to start anew. Maybe Sundays should be free-days (to an extent). You get to indulge a little so you have something to look forward to all week. That should also help your metabolism b/c you're tricking your body into thinking you're eating more throughout the week. But who knows - I'm no doctor. lol

    You're not a failure, only human. 99% of girls don't look nearly as good as you to begin with.

  2. This post was so very real, so refreshing. :)
    I also struggle with the completion compulsion.
    I used to be so good at leaving food on my plate, but then the comments started ("Why do you never finish a meal?" "Is it ever possible for you to clean your plate?" "If you only eat half of that, I am going to smack you! [joking, of course]) so I began finishing my meals.
    And I feel incredibly guilty for it.
    I need to get my willpower back.
    I will.
    I hope you are having a wonderful day today; you deserve to! :)
    Hang in there and stay strong love. <3

  3. Gianni's idea of having a free day is a good one, and it helps to keep the metabolism running! I'm staring anew tomorrow as well haha i guess today was just a bad day for a lot of us

  4. loved this post. i always find it difficult to have sex in the shower, maybe because guys i sleep with are so tall? that's the greatest feeling when you wake up with a tan! bet you look great:) Don't worry about the french toast, it's the not worst thing you could have had. And on the bright side, better to eat more earlier in the day! xoxo

  5. I loooove the new layout. I found the background that matches your banner if you want it. :)) I found it while I was looking around for my new blog :)

  6. I do the "completion" thing as well. Growing up, I was always taught to finish everything on my plate and never to waste, so now, I feel compelled to finish all the food, even if I'm really full. I need learn that I don't have to finish everything just because it's there!

    Haha, I hear vampires make nice dates! I always wondered who would make the better date: vampires or werewolves? :) (I'm a lover of fantasy and mythology) I love the "bread tooth" thing- I think I have a bread tooth, a sweet tooth, a potato tooth, and finally, a coffee tooth! You can definitely start Monday fresh again- begin the week the right way hopefully, you will have many good days to follow!