Monday, July 4, 2011

[4th of July]

I've had a crazy week! Hello to my new followers!! Leave me a comment so I know who you are!! :)


I didn't count my calories. I didn't binge, I didn't purge -- but I'm scared to look at that fucking scale. I don't think I will weigh myself until this coming Friday. I think I will make Friday's my weigh in days so I'm not slaving over my scale and freaking out. Now that my boyfriend is back in Ft. Riley I can be a bit more careful about the food I am ingesting. Overall, I'm pretty happy with my intake and I was just happy in general to be with him.

One of the most amazing perks of being with a man who is a 2x war veteran is that he understands what SEX means. We have sex A LOT! I mean, we fuck every chance we get. I am a complete and utter nympho (and I mean this!) I hate the fact that he is gone and I hate the stupid fucking IDIOT who got that DUI and forced my man to go back to base tomorrow by 6AM! He ended up leaving me at around 8PM, right after dinner so he could get back before all the drunken idiots are out driving around. So now, here I am... watching the fireworks through my apartment window. I can at least be here for my cat who is FREAKING OUT. I might cave tonight and smoke a cigarette to keep myself from binging from sadness. I wish we could get married already. I am tired of this town... I am ready to settle down and be a wife.

Boyfriend and I have decided to quit drinking so much. We mask our sadness with getting wasted while we are not together. We are strictly going to drink when we are together and for FUN, not for being sad. I am so thankful for scrubs right now. I've been watching from the beginning of season 1! I am on season 5 now! I watch at least 4-5 episodes if not more a night. I love this damn show!

Well all you lovely ladies, I SWEAR I will catch up on blogs tomorrow. As for now, I'm going to watch scrubs, listen to a few good songs and watch the fireworks. I love you all! 

______
Lights -- Perfect


Maybe I don't say all the right things
Maybe I stumble on my words
Maybe I laugh at all the wrong times
Maybe I mumble and I curse
The last thing I want is to let you down
Cuz all that I want is to make you proud

I can't explain just why I'm acting this way
I can't control it, so I go with it
I'm just a girl, I won't be changing the world
And boy you know that, I'm not perfect
But I'm perfect for you

Oh, oh, oh, oh

I know I dont make all the best moves
And I know sometimes I get weak
But I know I've got nothing to lose
Maybe that's what you love about me

The best I can do, is to be myself
And hope it's enough to make you proud

I can't explain just why I'm acting this way
I can't control it, so I go with it
I'm just a girl, I won't be changing the world
And boy you know that, I'm not perfect
But I'm perfect for you

When your in the room, my head is clear
You make the world just disappear
So open up your eyes and see

I can't explain just why I'm acting this way
I can't control it, so I go with it
I'm just a girl, I won't be changing the world
And boy you know that

I can't explain just why I'm acting this way
I can't control it, so I go with it
I'm just a girl, I won't be changing the world
And boy you know that, I'm not perfect
But I'm perfect for you


6 comments:

  1. D'aww, sorry about your boyfriend :(
    Good job with the drinking decision though,
    and don't be sad, find stuff to do and keep yourself busy so you won't binge |:
    Emotional eating never made me feel better anyways. Just worse...
    And I LOVE SCRUBS :D
    hah
    Well stay strong. Take it as a chance to lose more weight till he comes back(:
    It should keep you motivated!
    xxx

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  2. Aww hold on sweetie, emotional eating will only create another series of emo eating..
    Love all your post! ya so you! xox

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  3. I soo understand what it's like to stay away from your boyfriend for long.. but sex on the other hand feels even better when you finally get to see each other again!

    scrubs is reallllly funny! i recommend watching weeds if you havent done so yet!!

    good job with the drinking decision! stay strong and happy, xxxxx

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  4. Girl, I don't weigh myself until Fridays either (except today), it gives me all week to fix what I fucked up during the weekend. lol. You can't really help holidays though - those just kind of screw you over. *sigh*

    I'm so sorry we didn't get to hang out this weekend - I so desperately wanted to meet C! But I'll be living in KC soon, so I'll be able to meet him! Woohoo!

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  5. I think I should probably follow your style and pick one day to weigh myself since the scale usually determines my mood (such a buzzkill, all day, everyday). Samesies with me! I've been so nervous to look at the scale because it seems like no matter how hard I try and push myself I don't get anywhere but haven't really been "binging" per say. Congrats on controlling yourself the holiday weekend (usually it's the hardest) I'm pleased with the amount I ate myself/didn't overeat for once! Lolol I wish I could join a nympho's anonymous.. I love sex waaaay too much as well :P

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  6. I'm sorry that you're boyfriend isn't there anymore. :\

    On a brighter note, I love Lights! :D

    Stay strong honey!

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